Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about empathy, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
This will sound juvenile but the movie, “What Women Want” brought me to this career path. I watched Helen Hunt as an advertising executive be laser-focused on her vision for brands. I was hooked. When I question my path, I watch the movie again and I’m reinvigorated.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? My most interesting stories are the ones that happened in between my careers.
I’ve worn many hats over the 20 years. When people say the road to success is about the journey, not the destination…they aren’t kidding! In between different companies, I would be unemployed for almost a year. The resounding story in those gap years was the story of growing while failing. Many define success as some monetary achievement or a public accolade. However, my achievements were winning battles that went on when I put my head down every night during unemployment. Trying to mentally cheer myself on to keep battling through was the fight of my life. I had to keep telling myself it would not be this way and to wake up and try again. I would fall asleep listening to motivational You Tube videos and Ted Talks night after night. 10 years into my professional life and 4–5 different failed career paths, I finally find found a career home where my talents were utilized and I could make a difference within the brand. I oddly miss those nights. I was able to find out who I was in those nights of struggle. Those were the nights I was writing my stories of success. Ironic that the failing forward is the most interesting story looking back.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I like to think I have the unique ability to see the potential in a brand very easily. Upon starting at 900 North Michigan in 2014 it was a very well-respected property in Chicago on the Michigan Avenue’s Magnificent Mile.
However, it was dated and needed to be re-imagined. For years I would approach the 67 multiple-use building (made of luxury shops, Four Season Hotel, offices, residences, and parking) and see the beauty of the project/ In the beauty I also saw the massive amount of missed opportunities and potential. I wanted to make the dark and quiet luxury mall into a escape from the frenetic energy of Michigan Avenue. I could see malls being cool again and sophisticated being reinstated in a way that it was back in the late 80’s and early 90s.
My role at 900 was to focus on marketing and leasing the first 7 levels, which was retail. Ownership had toyed with renovating the retail section for years but never wanted to pull the trigger. A few years into my time at the property our CEO and VP approached myself and my coworker. They wanted to know what was “cool”. We knew exactly what they needed to see. We lined up 7 of Chicago’s best restaurants, bars, and co working spaces so they could see the elements we envisioned in 900. It felt like a light went off. They saw the need for light bright and airy. They saw the desire the simplicity but extremely intentional design. They saw how lighting, music, and all the elements of ambiance impacted the consumer journey and increased dwell time which could increase revenue for our retailers. More than anything, they finally saw the vision that many of us could see so clearly for so long before that.
It all came down to timing and staying ready for when the ideas were ready to be received. My company has always known I am ambitious for change, though I know all good things take time and vision needs to be met with strategy.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Listening & relaying the lessons: To lead you must hear the issues.
I’ve done events for as long as I can remember. To host a personal or professional event, there are always a lot of pros in each respective field (florist, lighting, photography). Early on in my career, I learned having your squad of vendors was key. However, I didn’t know what qualified as a great vendor. It took years of listening to each of them and understanding their craft. Utlimanity allowed me to lead events and my team more effectively. I could see the problems ahead of time and educate my team on what to expect. Listening to those vendors allowed me to gain their respect and retain their partnership.
Authentically Connecting: People want to help people they like. Whether it be a client or someone I work with, I want to know about them and I want to understand what makes them tick. I want to feel connected to them so it isn’t all vein business interactions. I have a younger team member who I learned struggled with depression. I didn’t learn this over some business meeting, but over a happy hour I scheduled specifically for me to learn more about him. By hearing this, I’m able to navigate him a bit better. Life is happening all while we grind away at work. I think it’s important to understand who we are working with and to make it the best experience.
Vision and the boldness to share it: To lead you must give people something greater than themselves to strive for. No one wants to follow subpar ideas. As I led a group of retailers into renewing their leases, I had to give them a vision of what our property could be. I couldn’t make downplay it but I couldn’t amp it up too much. Ownership hadn’t signed on the dotted line inking in that the project would move forward. It was game time and they needed to know the dream was possible and the vision was theirs. Fast forward 7 years, all of those retailers are still on the property and the vision has become a reality.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.
My previous coworker, who technically held a higher title than me, decided to leave our company. I was offered her job and was extremely torn. However, part of leading is knowing when to say no. Going into that role would have held back our brand. Part of knowing your brand and leading it is allowing it to evolve despite your discomfort. Releasing control to someone else was extremely vulnerable for me. It challenged my leadership skills. Though to lead sometimes you have to step aside for the greater good and lead from a different less obvious position.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define empathy in a leadership context, and why do you believe it’s a vital trait for leaders to possess in today’s work environment?
Empathy is putting yourself in another’s shoes. Often, it’s not just putting yourself in the shoes but walking in them. It can be easy to lead a team, but are you doing it with longevity? If not, you could be burning out your team which makes them move on, leaving you to burn out because you have to keep rebuilding a team. This effort takes away from the business goals at the forefront. By understanding your people, it allows you to understand what they need. If you understand your people and they truly feel like you are in it with them, they are taken out of their state of fear. By doing this, they begin to communicate more effectively, and their productivity increases. The positive impact snowballs from there.
Can you share a personal experience where showing empathy as a leader significantly impacted a situation or relationship in your organization?
I had a retailer who was unable to make rent. He had 3 strokes, was extremely stressed because of his new business. He felt like he was going to be kicked out of his space because he wasn’t paying rent. All the profits he was making were going toward his mental health. However, his overhead was insanely high because he was paying people to work his space so he could make all his doctors’ appointments. As a result, he has subpar employees running his retail space. They were not nearly as skilled nor as knowledgeable as him.
I wanted to retain this tenant: he was motivated and talented and I knew he could be profitable if he could get through this. I was finally able to get a face-to-face meeting with him. He was beyond stressed and scared that this meeting was to end his lease. After taking him out of the state of fear that he wasn’t losing his lease, I was able to guide him to solutions. After diving into his overhead a bit more, we decided all he needed to do was work 2 days a week in the store. This would save him enough in overhead to get out of his rent troubles. This also would allow him to get back in the store and get a pulse on what consumers wanted.
Often what people need is just to see light at the end of the tunnel and feel like they have someone helping them through that tunnel.
How do empathetic leaders strike a balance between understanding their team’s feelings and making tough decisions that might not be universally popular?
Feelings are fluid and can change from person to person, no one can dictate them, and their no way to forecast them. On the other hand, decisions are concrete. Any strong leader should be able to clearly base decisions on the facts. Feelings have to be stripped away and all one can do is decide on the facts. Empathic leaders wouldn’t be able to be empathic if they factored in all the feelings that the decision stirred up. This could cripple any leader and hurt the great goal of a team. Empathic leaders ride a fine line. The only way to not cross it is to stay consistent and factual when it comes down to the wire.
How would you differentiate between empathy and sympathy in leadership? Why is it important for leaders to distinguish between the two?
Simple: Empathy is proactive. Sympathy is reactive. I never want to be sympathetic. It means I’m behind and wasn’t able to see something coming. Often this can’t be avoided because life can’t be forecasted. However, if you’re an empathic leader you’ll be in tune with your people and likely know what’s happening before it becomes a situation that spins out of control.
Seeing the difference between the two is like looking in the mirror: are you pretending to BE empathetic or ARE you empathic?
What are some practical strategies or exercises that leaders can employ to cultivate and enhance their empathetic skills?
Get out of the box, literally. Whatever space you are leading in, escape it. The biggest part of empathy is your vulnerability. Allowing others to see you outside you wearing your daily superhuman leadership suit will allow them to feel more connected to you. If you feel like you are “working” on your empathic skills then you’re likely on the wrong path. You should be aiming to feel like you are connecting with people. If you have that feeling, then they likely will too.
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership”?
1 . FULFILLING: It will make leading more fulfilling and you’ll have a greater impact on those around you.
2 . LESS THINKING: Much of the difficulty of leading will be removed because you won’t have a constant guessing game. The people give you the answers to leading them.
3 . EASE: Success comes easier. People want to help people they feel connected to.
4 . INFECTIOUS: Empathy becomes infectious. You lead but your leadership style starts to become another’s style, and all of sudden you have a tribe of great leaders operating with the same ethos as you.
5 . LONGEVITY: Having empathy creates a safe environment. People who feel safe are likely to stay. People who stay become invested. People who become invested are the greatest asset any leader can have.
Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?
Absorbing the feelings of others is the absolute biggest pitfall. It’s one thing to be connected and understand people. It’s another thing to take on their problems and think you can be the savor to them. Some battles are yours to fight. The only way to address walking this tight rope is to simply know when to step away.
Off-topic, but I’m curious. As someone steering the ship, what thoughts or concerns often keep you awake at night? How do those thoughts influence your daily decision-making process?
Self-doubt keeps me wide awake and debating if I’m foolish for being empathic. I wonder if it’s hindering me and if I’m absorbing other feelings too much. However, after years of this daily debate, I look at the output of my empathy and realize it’s gotten me this far…so I must be doing something right!
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Being more human. Too often we are a bunch of robots doing what others did before us. I think if we tapped into one another a bit more situations could be easier than we make them.
How can our readers further follow you online?
Instagram @Aliciaskruba. I keep this more personal but I drop an introspective thought here and there.
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!